During my drive-about this morning, I stopped at a yellow light because here where I decided to reside, there are traffic cameras even inside toilets at the rest stops. Just kidding. But seriously, almost every stop light has a camera, so I drive praying to God that the yellow light comes on way before I get to the intersection.
So with my paranoia, because I didn’t think I was up to par to show up on traffic cameras, I decided to stop at yellow. This young woman behind me starting blowing her horn for around longer than 30 seconds just behind me. We were standing still. I looked at her from my rearview mirror just staring at her with no emotions at all, without batting my eyelashes. Then she started practicing her sign language abilities with her two hands and her motioning was quite a bit disturbing. In my olden days, I would have waved back, but this time I just stared at her without losing the rhythm of my breath. When she finished her conversation with herself with her fingers and everything else, I looked at myself in my mirror to check my makeup and hair and was amazed at myself for my non-reaction.
Then I thought about a bumper sticker to be: if you are so stressed out with your miserable life, and cannot cope with stopping at yellow lights, just flush yourself down your stinky toilet. But then, that is not Contessa’s style. Just keep on driving and continue planning for the next stop at a yellow light.
Getting close to my house, at a red light, with my peripheral sight, I caught the driver on my right motioning with both arms quite agitated. I tried to ignore it, because I thought today was the day of practicing the abilities of those that choose to use their fingers and arms to express themselves. Conspiracy theory working full-time. After a while of all this commotion, I decided to look to see if the guy wanted me to let him in front of me. Noooooo, I think he had a wasp inside his car and was desperate trying to protect himself and waving everything he could to get it out.
I couldn’t wait to get to my sanctuary, away from all these stressed out individuals.
Finally, inside my place, I got on my knees and just thanked my Creator that I made it safe with my makeup intact and hair just in the right place.
So…it was today…finding out how cold my blood could be…and getting away from the crowd trying to practice international sign languages that only they could understand.
I have decided today not to practice my abilities for signing naughty language because I will be the only one making an idiot out of myself, as the stressed-out young woman did.
See you next Tuesday. Labor Day Holiday. Make it a good one.
Your Happy Contessa
“Circumstances and situations do color life but you have been given the mind to choose what the color shall be.” John Homer Miller, American writer and educator.