I am having dreams of having a piece of cake, or maybe a whole cake. It would be a many layers vanilla cake with enough frosting and coconut flakes to make me spin on my weight scale. It would be, oh, so worthy!
At the supermarket today, I went by the bakery section, where I almost purchased a few pieces of different kinds of cakes. I also went to the aisle where they have the already prepared mixes for cakes, I almost bought a few boxes, lemon cake, strawberry cake, vanilla cake…I guess you get the idea.
Am I pregnant? By a holy or alien being, you mean? There’s not another way. The few little hormones I have left are struggling with my issues of having a crush on someone. They can only handle so much. Other than that…remember, I have an incredibly humongous sense of humor. You need to take my stuff with many grains of sea salt. Otherwise…you will never get me.
Back to the cake issue…So I decided after a few minutes of contemplation and pondering while looking at all those delicious but not-good-for-you-trash, that I was having none of those. An apple and some dried pineapple will suffice in my salad. Hard life, yes, it is.
I must admit, I am getting a little tired of grazing for lunch, plantains for breakfast and quinoa and black beans for dinner. I don’t think my taste buds even try to taste the same things over and over again. I just chew and chew some more. It is starting to taste like nothing much. But I am too lazy to develop a new menu. I will have to do that soon, otherwise one of these days, I am going to have a self-inflicted revolt and go get cake, pie, and ice cream (I am salivating as I am typing this).
For how much longer can I stand all of this turmoil in my life. Crushes, cakes, pies, skinny pants, stilettos? Life is getting a bit too complicated. Maybe I should go hiking the Himalayas and eat grass on my way to the top. That sounds very appealing. Need to start researching that idea. Would my lungs be able to go up so high? We’ll find out…maybe one of these days…but, on the other hand, I may end up becoming a goat.
Until next time…please have as much cake, pie, and ice cream in my honor. I almost can taste it already.
Your Happy Contessa
“My life is one big piece of cake… I am loving it and having it too.” Me