Back in the Summer of 2009, when I was getting my wardrobe ready for my dream trip of 46 years to Paris, France, I was in a store, and passing by this dress, it called my attention. It was on the sale rack, so that made it more appealing. I went quickly to try it on in the you know by now, the chamber of horrors (Fitting Room). Lights, mirrors, and action…arms, flabby, tummy with some rolls that were not there before I left the house and cellulitis galore. But I pretended I wasn’t looking, and with my 20% additional discount, the dress was almost given to me for free.
In my mind this is what I envisioned; full-blown sun tanned arms and legs, 15 additional pounds needed to be shed, cool sunglasses, and hair flowing freely with the wind. Maybe the French Riviera? You know how creative my imagination is. I was going all the way full speed.
Found the high-heeled sandals, that when I tried them in the store, my legs cramped up, but I told them to shut up and not to complain. Bought them anyway. I would need assistance to walk on these, but I would figure those details later. I was going to be one hot mama in that dress, pearls, sandals, sunglasses and maybe a hat a-la-Garbo. Did she ever wear a hat? She was cool. Oh yes, also, hot red lipstick. In my mind I was a total good-looking-diva.
Fast forward two years…I am cleaning my closet and the dress again was whispering my name. It did it before but I pretended I couldn’t understand English or Spanish. I wasn’t ready for the “look.” But today, I tried the dress again, with the accessories, including the high-heeled sandals. Oh man, cramps galore. I thought that was only an illusion when I bought them. I almost had to crawl out of them.
Then…mirror, mirror on the wall, the bathroom, the living room and all elsewhere. The moment of truth arrived. Merciless, I looked as if I had gained 30 pounds, instead of losing 15, where is that push-up bra when you need one, the legs looked pitiful, and shaking from the cramping, and also in a total disbelief, I couldn’t continue to watch the image being reflected back to me from this woman who I didn’t recognize at all. Does she live here? What’s her name. Almost nauseated I took off that outfit, went to the garage to get a nice shopping bag, tissue paper and gently placed the dress and the shoes that were never meant to be in the bag and very ceremoniously took it away from my sight.
What went wrong? Was my imagination so far off? But, one thing for sure, I will not stop trying again to chase that image I envisioned that day. There’s always hope. Maybe if I exercise a bit more, do more dancing and lose a few extras you know what, I can get an even sexier little black dress. Yes, I can. Everybody else does, why not me.
Let me in a secret. This is my second writing of this posting. The first one disappeared totally. This is the second time it has happened. The first version was funnier, but…I cannot cry over a gone with the crapola first posting. This is the best I was able to reconstruct. Hope you enjoy another day in my pretend world.
So it was today, 30 May, 2011, a day of disappearing postings, facing reality checks, and contemplating buying kinder and gentler mirrors. There’s only so much one can take.
Your Happy Contessa
“Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.” I am the only beholder..so…