All of us are always playing a role, even if we realize it or not. Most of the time, we want to believe that our role is for goodness sake, and we want to be thought of as being a good person.
Babies, brothers, sisters, mothers, daughters, husbands, fathers, sons, and so on. The roles we take upon depends on the kinds of influence we have had since the time we were born, and later on in life, it depends on our external influences. These could be things, people or events.
How we define our actual role? It depends where you are positioned in life right now. I know that as for myself, I like the idea of always looking good border line cool. I have a full-length mirror that approves or disapprove of my looks whenever I ask for its opinion. Most of the time I make sure I do my best before I even think about asking. On the other hand, sometimes I just need a confirmation that I just look dreadful. Being a masochist is another role I play sometimes. Especially when I eat a lot of crapola and to make myself feel worse, I go in to see Miss Cruel mirror and just stand there and get the nod, that yes, I look disgusting.
Going back to the roles we play. Sometimes we like being a victim, but it is funny that in the role of victim if we really saw ourselves playing it, is pathetic. What about the role of looking for approval or being needy all the time? I don’t know which one is worse. I am checking myself all the time to make sure that the scripts I am reading at any particular time does not include these two roles. This is what I call self-talk all around the clock. In these days, they call that 24/7/365. We love numbers, don’t we.
Sometimes we play the role of “the knower all of nothing.” That’s when keeping our mouths shut is better, even if they think we are dumb, than opening the big hole on our faces, and they will know for sure we are dumb.
Some roles I enjoy playing, some of them I realize I am playing when it is too late, and I know I have acted stupidly. There’s nothing better than self-analysis. It is all about evolving to achieve peace not only with yourself, but with those around you that are busy figuring out their own roles.
Oscars are for the few that outdo themselves playing a role, but I think all and each one of us are worthy of a better award that we shall call “Best Me Ever.”
So it was today…2nd April, 2011…a day to think about what next role I wish to play. Comedy is always a good choice.
Your Happy Contessa
These two paintings are on exhibit at the North Carolina Museum of Art. Frieseke was a neighbor of Claude Monet, thereby the influence, and that was Ms. O’Keeffe’s neighborhood church.