The “no ring” thing this past Friday…Royal wedding…

Now that there is no sugar to be found, all the maple syrup bottles from Vermont have been exhausted, and the honey is lacking everywhere, from all the newscasters being intoxicated by these ingredients, I am going to say my piece.

I didn’t get the point that the groom was not going to get a wedding ring, even though that was discussed days after their engagement, until I saw one lonely ring sitting on the Bible, and even that ring didn’t want to smoothly go and be part of adorning Her Royal Highness’ finger, it dawned on me that the soon-to-be bald groom did not get the round piece of metal.  Deja vu!

My first still moron husband did the same thing.  Alarm, alarms are ringing!  Let me explain.  When we were dating, he was Mr. Smooth operator, come to think of it, I always attract guys that are like a magnet for women.  Well, let’s continue, he was an institution with the women in the island of St. Croix, and a very well-known,  available,  very attractive man, very elegant;  what any woman will fall for.  He used to say the right things, open the doors, pull the chair, even in our own home, and in summary, a real find and catch.  But…there is always a but…isn’t it…time was going by, we were having a grand time together…I was getting older and he was getting more interesting, you see, women, we age, men, noooo! they get fascinating.  Talking about a chauvinistic society.

The moron did not want to get married.  First husband, if you are reading this, accept it and deal with the fact, you were a moron.  So I did give him an ultimatum…get married or I am out of here.  My prime time years were clicking by.  That’s what I told him.  I gave him a month.  So the days went by and I was checking my calendar.  Always been a matter of fact kind of girl. 

One day, when he picked me up from work, grudgingly, he said that we were going to go to a place that will make me very happy.  A jewelry store!  I said, oh, that’s nice.  Then he said “but I am not getting a ring.”  A big knife went through my little happy balloon.  I told him “so…you are not getting a ring…ok, you choose one for me, I really don’t care how it looks.”  And that was that.

The day of my wedding was nice, in a garden with a 157 variety of plants, champagne everywhere, great guests, a guy playing beautiful songs with a guitar, la creme de la creme was there, but the groom’s ring was MIA.  That should have given me a clue.  He was not that into me!!!!!!   Four years later we were toast.

Now, let’s go back to last Friday’s ceremony, watched by 2 gazillion people all over the world.  Girlfriend, I mean, your Royal Highness, let me get on your face and tell you the message no one dared to tell me, His Royal Imbecile Highness is not that into you.  Finally, it is off my chest.  Did the very short honeymoon was a hint, hint.  I don’t know.  Only time will tell.  Or maybe after you have been honeymooning for over ten years, no surprises anymore.  Are you still with me… 

A message to all the brides-to-be with a groom that does not want to have a wedding ring.  Get the hell out of that relationship!  It is what it is.  Or, you tell him that you too, will not wear a wedding ring.  Equal showing for all.  And start timing your going away party from that marriage as soon as you see other signs.

There are other guys out there that will give anything to wear a wedding ring when they get married to you.  Seek and you shall find.  Remember?

So it was today…3rd May, 2011…saying my piece about to ring or not to ring.

Your Happy Contessa

It is not what people say…it is what they do…no ring…no go…no do…