Do not fear. Nothing gross, naughty or disgusting. This one is to remove any thought whatsoever about my belief of thinking that “I thought I was someone important.”
Back in the days when Ron was getting in and out of the hospital due to his illness, one particular day he was getting a CT-Scan and I had to wait in the waiting room for him to finish with the procedure.
Never mind that this recent photo shows a new, improved and empty waiting room. They have remodeled and recently I had to pay a visit. But going back to the episode mentioned above, on this day, there was a standing-room-only crowd. I was reading a magazine and suddenly had the urge to release some of the water I had been drinking. So I had to go to the restroom. I put some toilet paper on the seat after drying any liquids left over by the previous occupant (disgusting), and set about to do my blessing. When finished, I proceeded to wash my hands, looked at my ever rebellious hair, picked up my bags, and went back to the waiting area.
Now, bear in mind that this local hospital is the meeting place of this county. Everybody (baby boomers, mind you) knows everybody, by first name basis. There I am walking with my then tight jeans, thinking that I look oh, so hot and cute. I got to the waiting area and in the process of seating, I felt something on the back of my pants, and looking very cool and casual, put my hand back there, and OMG, toilet paper hanging out from inside the back of my then tight jeans. The paper that I had put on the toilet seat to protect myself from any germs. Wishful thinking. I gulped, looked around to see if anyone had seen this so beyond embarrassing moment, but everyone, I noticed, had their heads down, even if they were not reading.
Those cowards! Didn’t have the guts to tell a save from herself embarrassed woman that she had toilet paper coming out of her behind. Thanks God I didn’t do #2. I then pulled out the paper, rolled it in my hands and started to look for a garbage receptacle, but they also all disappeared in a second. I had to put the rolled mass of paper in my purse. I then proceeded to seat as if nothing had happened.
From that moment on in my life, I don’t have any shame of anything extraordinary happening to me. You name it, I have faced it. I cannot walk on water, but I can swim in a little pond.
This reminded me of an episode at a German bank I used to work for in New York City. This terribly handsome man (a vice president of finance that looked like he just came out of a magazine page, with always tanned skin) came out of the restroom and my desk used to be on the way there. His name was Haig. Let’s leave the last name out, just in case one day I become very, very famous, and he might be embarrassed. He had his zipper open! He went by too fast for me to say anything, but everyone he passed by started to laugh but said nothing. So I thought, let me wait to see if a guy will say something to him. No. No one. So I just got up from my chair, went into his office, all glass may I say, and told him that when he came out of restroom his shirt didn’t look properly tucked in. I then left. I saw him from my desk rearranging his pants, and then he came by my desk to thank me very much. Next day, a beautiful bouquet of flowers was delivered at my desk in appreciation.
I hope that if ever in your crossings in life, you are faced with a situation as the ones described before, say something. Don’t let anyone walk around showing things that should be hidden or walking around with a royal train when there is not a queen around. Now I can laugh about it, come to think about it, I think I was laughing to myself about the whole thing when it happened. Let me mention, that now every time I go to a restroom I look one, two, three or more times to make sure there is not a foreign object coming out of the back of my pants. Paranoia galore.
It goes to show that you never know what is going to show up next in your life. Receive it with humor (good) because laughter is good for our internal organs and our psych.
I just shared one lesson of the many I have taken in the classrooms I have been through in my beautiful life.
Your Happy Contessa
P.S. From time to time I am going to share some of the quotes I think are just unforgettable from my novela “India.”
“It is not that difficult to make someone believe something that they already want to believe.” Yvonne, the she evil character. She has a psychopathic personality in her role. It goes to show that you can always learn something from anyone.