Tumultuous Relationships…

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Meet the most violent corner of my home.  This is where threats are made to blow up one of the computers.  Please notice I have two, the good-old-friendly one, and the new beast that has a bloody mind of its own.  I have threatened to shoot the new beast with a bb gun I am trying to borrow from a relative, but it really does not matter what I do, say or try to intimidate it with sending it to recycle heaven, the new beast would just do as it —–well pleases.  I need to ponder on the situation because it is really a super fast, super slick, with the magic of LED, so that means everybody look prettier, and I am still paying for it!

This is like a really sour, bad, love-hate relationship going on here.  Who needs a husband, when I have something that behaves like one right here.  Seriously…

I think masochism must be on my DNA because I decided that today was the perfect day to bring out my sewing machine, the one I have not used for years.  I bought that machine to make my own curtains when we moved to North Carolina in 2006.  I calculated that the cost was going to be less than having them done by an outsider versus yours truly, and after I figured out the cost of fabric and sewing machine, etc. we were ahead a couple of hundred dollars.  So, voila, we bought a sewing machine.  Curtains came out really nice, I made sure that the pattern had lines, so all I had to do was sew in a straight line…all the time.  Mission accomplished on that one.

Now let’s move back to the future…this morning I thought about fixing two pair of slacks, croppers, because I really like them, but they are too big for my new version of skinny everything.  Like to show my total absence of curves, if you guess what I mean.  The black pair came out perfect, that was after spending one hour figuring out how to thread the machine and bobbin.  My hair is freaking out by all these new attempts.  The white pair…well, if I was 60 lbs or 30 or so kilos, they would be just perfect.  Now, the question is…I am more tempted to lose the pounds than to face that sewing machine again.

As you notice on the picture, all these machines, when in use make a community of three, versus a population of one on Planet Noury.

I feel sometimes that I need to be careful how deep I breath in my place, because one or all  of these machines may turn on against me at any given moment.

No kidding…or yes, a little.  There’s really nothing, absolutely nothing boring about my life.  Like it that way.

One interesting Cinco de Mayo in my part of the universe.

Happy Contessa

“What there’s not to like about technology and old age.”  Guess who said this.  Bingo!

 

 

Selfies and Welcome to Summer!!

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As you noticed, I did not show my whole body on this picture…there’s a reason or many, many reasons why.

Here in Central Florida summer has arrived, so short sleeves, shorts and all other related items are taking their rightful place in my closet and drawers.

That’s when I started to notice some parts on my body that were not there before the cold season started.  What in the world has happened?  I thought I had managed to keep my weight and shape in check, but…no, oh no!  Horror of horrors…pictures are telling me another story.  I never had an abundance of material around my hips, but now I see things I never noticed before.

This is very serious matter to me.  You all know how vain I am.  If I cut my portions of food there won’t be anything left on the plate for me to munch on.  This is a crisis.  I am serious.

Age is not a helping factor, so I cannot go out there and kill myself jogging, pump iron and do all the kind of things these younger chicks do.  No match for me.  Surgery, heck no… cannot stand the sight of my own blood.  So what am I going to do?

I need divine intervention.  He already knows me and He has an incredible sense of humor, so I have requested an appointment for some guidance and enlightenment.  I am really devastated.  😦

I will keep you posted as to what in the world I am going to do.

Happy Contessa

“I have been dieting all morning…am I skinny yet?”  Someone as desperate as I am.

 

 

Love, Liberation… and Redemption…Happy Easter…Happy Passover…

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This Holy Week is very meaningful for a large group of us as people.  For Christians, it means redemption, unconditional love,  and for the Jewish people it means a celebration of remembrance of freedom from slavery.

The most essential things in life are abstract to our senses.  For me, this week is very meaningful because it takes me back to my childhood, when during this week was all about meditating on your life and a promise to do better in the future.  Also, the enormous gratitude for Christ’s unconditional love for all of us.

I am positive that each religion is based on these principles that are the elements or foundation for  all of us as human beings.

Want to take this opportunity to let you know I do appreciate each one of you, because you have been part of my life since my first posting.

May you have a very meaningful week surrounded with the people who mean the most to you.  Even if you are by yourself, remember that you are always surrounded by the love of God.

Happy Contessa

“For God so loved the world that He gave his one and only son….”  John 3:16

 

Domestic Diva…What did I just say? Not such a good thing…

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Who has taken over my body and my mind?  I feel like the energizer bunny.  Dusting with a rag and spray (I used to use one of those swifter things).  Now the surfaces shine and look new.  Before I used to transfer dust from one place to another.  So after I was done dusting my old way, there was dust left over looking at me.  Now it shines and it looks super good!

I am watching cooking shows and salivating at everything I watch.  Let me make one thing very clear, I do not like to cook.  Usually I have the same things for breakfast, lunch and dinner  I have been doing that for the past three years or so.  Now I am dreaming about getting some new kitchen gadgets, and new supplies to get going.  Even wine is on the list.  I am a H2O woman.  That is going to change.

I am vacuuming even under the furniture.  That’s a first for me.  My late husband used to move everything so he could really vacuum every zinch of the surface.  You could feel the crispness of the fiber of the carpet when you walked on it after he was finished.  I thought he was wasting precious time.  Guess what?  I am doing the same things he used to do.

I am revamping my small space, changing art, adding new beautiful waste baskets, fresh flowers and the list is growing.  My daughter is a pro at making any utilitarian item look glamorous.  I am following her steps.

So…this brings me to the question…what’s going on with me?  In case anyone of you is thinking…no, I am not taking any hormones.  Oh, I forgot to mention, romantic music is on from the moment I wake up to the moment I close my eyes. This item needs a separate posting.  Kind of complicated.  I am a very romantic person.  But there is no time for romance in my life at this exact moment.  I am not ready yet to have another body in my digs and worry about what I am going to have to feed him and all the other details that having a relationship entails.

Where’s my old self?  I need her back.  I can’t stand all this efficiency and neatness.  And the romantic songs issue?  I will leave that one floating throughout the universe.  One thing at a time.

Feeling somewhat good and surprised at this other person that has taken over my space and my self.  But, it is wearing me out.  Need to stop this compulsion about neatness and being busy.

Happy to be happy,

Happy Contessa

“Nothing is less productive than to make more efficient what should not be done at all.”  Peter Drucker, Austrian born American.  Management consultant, author, educator.  19 November 1909 – 11 November, 2005.

Really…Seriously…Am I for real? That time of the year…Bathing Suits!

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This is not exactly where I wanted to end…that color is definitely not good for my skin tone, but the model is in the neighborhood of what I don’t want, but probably will have to settle for.

Had a few pictures of bikinis, but when I went into the Fitting Room, the mirror threatened to jump over the door, because it couldn’t deal with the image that was reflecting back to me.  Too embarrassing that even the mirror couldn’t take it.  I just wanted to try a few to see what was left over of my glorious days.  I remember then…skin smooth, gorgeous glow, no rolly pollies anywhere and just looking ravishingly stunning.  Those were the days…now these days are…what are they?  I don’t have the foggiest idea what has happened to my ever good-looking body.  Now it is just a mass of flesh waiting to be tucked into some jeggings to hurt all over and almost getting killed in the process of taking them out.

My female friends…am I alone in this or is it just me?  Oh, let me address the issue of light and mirrors on some of those Fitting Rooms.  I have never visited a morgue, but I have a pretty good idea what it must be to be in one of those rooms.  I look as if I am 101 years old and let’s not touch the issue of how my hair looks.  I am not going to continue this torture,  because life is kind of ok right now, so getting depressed is not an option.

I spent four…4…hours at the mall today.  Between the mirrors, the lights…I must interrupt to say that H&M and Forever 21 do have the best lights.  Maybe LED?  But, and this is a big BUT…the clothes there are for the younger looking chicks, even though I do have a few pieces from those stores.  Today was not a good day, even there.

Bought a cute skirt at Banana Republic from $89.00 to $21.45 (tax included).  That’s another issue.  Profit margin, anyone?

Well, no bikinis for this whatever you want to call it body.  Need to find a body suit to cover everything except eyes and feet.  But, then I may scare the kids out of their own little suits.  Life is just too strenuous and stressful when it comes to finding coverage to go into the water.  Maybe I’ll just wear shorts and a t-shirt.  But then the filthy older little men will want to be all over me because of a wet t-shirt.  Cannot win.

When I thought the waters were safe again…

Your Happy Contessa

“I am not the sort of woman who would wear high heels with a bathing suit.  Let’s get that straight right now.”  Vera Wang, American fashion designer.  27 June, 1949 – .

P.S.  Now, that’s an idea…high heels with a bathing suit…need to work on that vision.  🙂

Why do I walk…Fringe benefits of walking…

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There you have me in the raw…lines, marks, etc., etc.  But so what…this is the real me.

This morning while taking my daily walk, a lady stopped her car and asked me if by walking her middle section would get smaller.  I briefly looked at her and saw the middle section, and then…after a millennial second, I said “No.”  Then she asked why do I walk?  I told her that I walk for my heart, for my circulation, to get fresh, just polluted air and all the goodies that come with our environment.  It is what it is.

I think I am better off walking than not because I feel better after I get home, I meet people that have nicknamed me “the walker,” I find out the latest gossip that’s going around and the most important part, I get off my derriere.  It is almost non-existent.

Another benefit is that I get vitamin D from the sun, get my skin a bit darker, which I love.  Yes, I know…the side effect could be not so good.  But I like living dangerously.  That’s as exciting my life gets.  Kidding.  I have a lot of things going on, that I would classify as exciting.  Cannot tell.  I don’t even know myself sometimes what’s going on in my so ever wonderful, magnificent and magical life.  Yep, that’s exactly what it is.

Well…now that you have seen me in the raw, get to know why I walk, you can go on with your own exciting life.

Ta ta

Your Happy Contessa

“There is not a sprig of grass that shoots uninteresting to me.”  Thomas Jefferson, American Founding Father, principal author of the U.S. Declaration of Independence, Third President of the United States.  13 April, 1743 – 4 July 1826.

It’s a hair thing…

I am re-blogging for lack of material right now.  I enjoyed re-reading and had a good laugh.  Wish you the same. Please click on “View Original” to finish the story.

happycontessa's avatarNoury's Creative World...

You will never look at your hair the same way again after you finish reading this post.

Am happy with my hair?  Somehow, it depends on the feedback I get from the mirror.  I cannot ignore it, because it is one of the first things I look at in the morning.  Have a big, big mirror in the bathroom, so it is impossible not to look at it.  Right now my hair is too long for a many happy birthdays gal like me.  As we get….. long hair is not too becoming.  It makes us look much….  That’s why I need to go and get a cut.  That’s when my stomach turns upside down.  I hate going to the “cut shop.”  For the past few years,  everyone I go to (and I have had a different one every time I get a cut) is in a bad mood.  I rationalize it thinking…

View original post 448 more words

Jeggins Warning Advice…

 

This morning's 32...view from the right eye...

Note:  By my mistake I deleted the original photo for this posting, so here’s another picture to substitute.

If you have had your happy drink, like tequila, margarita, martini, or whatever, please do not attempt to take off your tall, high heel tight boots, and then your jeggings (2 sizes smaller) without a big break in between.  You may end up breaking your face.

Let me explain.  Recently, I had my two-sizes-too-small-jeggings on, and my tight tall boots, because I didn’t want to look hot, I wanted to look smoking hot.  I can imagine myself leaving a trail of smoke.  What an incredible sight.  🙂  I am laughing my heart out as I am typing, but it is true.

Not too much time left to wear this kind of outfit, you know, without looking somewhat ridiculous, or getting really hurt trying to put them on or taking them off.  Maybe I already look somewhat not so hot,  but so what, it is my body and they are my jeggins.  As Raylene would say, tick, tock, tick, tock, and the darn clock is ticking faster and faster every second of my life.  Meaning to say that in a few years, or maybe next week, I won’t be able to wear the cutest things I do wear now.

Well…One day last week, I came back home from a walkabout looking smoking hot, at least I thought so,  and then without thinking too much started the process of taking off the boots.  That was one for the books.  And I did not have any alcohol in my system.  Thinking about it, maybe a shot of tequila would have made the whole process easier.  Maybe taking a pair of scissors and cutting the jeggings off would have been easier too.

After the boots are off, I started with the jeggings.  I could see that the seams left an impression on my skin, that’s how tight this thing was.  The jeggings refused to go down, so here I am forcing them down, and trying to do one leg at the time, what was I thinking?  There was no space to insert any maneuver of any kind.  This thing was not going down.  That’s when I stood up and tried to walk to see if by being up, the process would be easier.  Really?  I almost fell on my face.  That would have been hard to explain to the ambulance people who would have found me in such a precarious situation and position, and a bloody face.

After about 1/2 hour of deep breathing and meditating to keep my heart rate slow, I was able to be released from such a chamber of torture.  Am I wearing this pair of jeggings again?  You bet!

At least an older woman, like in her late eighties, told me I looked sharp.  Lukewarm compliment, but after the process, I took it very gracefully.

So, my dear co-seasoned compatriots, do not wear extremely tight jeggings and tall boots, and drink at the same time.  You may end up without a face.  I almost did and I only had water.

One more day in my ever eventful life.

Happy Contessa

“There is a fountain of youth:  it is in your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love.  When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.”  Sophia Loren, Italian actress.  20 September, 1934 -.

Twenty-First Century version of the Fairy Tale Princess and her Prince Charming…

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Looking at myself again.  Sorry, but I am cleaning my Pictures File and found this one too good not to be shared.  This picture was taken January, 2013…I bet I have aged around ten years or more since then.  Why?  I don’t have the foggiest idea.  I just think so.  Too bad this high-end store did not sell tiaras.  The sales lady brought shoes with the red sole trying to play big time to my ego.  Maybe she thought she was going to meet her monthly quota with me.  Ha!

Every woman has a secret dream that one day, just for one day, you will look and feel like a princess.  I didn’t have that opportunity until the day this picture was taken.  I was looking for a dress to be the best-looking-ever-mother of the bride.  Did I wear this dress to the wedding?  No…it was not meant to be.  It was my daughter’s day, not mine.

Maybe one day I can dress like a princess again and dance until midnight, when then the dress, the prince, the tiara, the Toyota Highlander (Richard and Raylene’s because they have a later model), and the shoes all will disappear.  Wait, there will be one shoe left behind, because how in the world is prince charming going to find me?  Shoot, I didn’t think about that one.  So many millions of women and only one prince charming.  Logistics, logistics.  Already I have a broken heart.  Do you think this prince is on Facebook?  Is he a friend of a friend so then I can send the word out?  Hope so, otherwise I am in deep you know what.

Oh dear, if the shoes, dress and everything will disappear, I hope there is a rag around to cover myself.  Need to put “rag” on the to do list.

This prince needs to know that there is a woman in rags that is looking for him and the shoe.  This raggedy woman has the perfect flat foot that will fit perfectly in that stiletto.  Yes, she is short, well, sort of, so she had to wear stilettos to the ball.

This is going very well…and feeling really happy.  So there’s a way this Mr. Wonderful, wait…I have to put him into some demographics group and be very specific about qualifications and looks.  Now, this just got a bit complicated.  I don’t even have an idea how “he” is supposed to look.  Come to think about it…what happens if I am not his type?  The plot thickens.

More complications.  Just thought about this…I need to have the other shoe, so I can prove to this wonderful-prince-to be that I am the stunning looking Medicare babe he danced with at the Bingo Hall.  Too late to re-arrange this out of control story.  So many things to think about and my brain is already in overload because of the crises created by my new “the beast” computer.

Maybe is all better to just show you the picture and stay just as I am.  Dreaming about my prince charming.  But, you know already what type of personality I have.   AAA, so let’s go back to the drawing board…next time.  I need to define this Mr. Make-Me-Happy-Forever- guy.  Yeah…right!  Mission Impossible.

Oh, one more thing, frogs need not apply.  Don’t have the time and energy to go through the tedious process.  Need all the energy to find that guy, I mean, the prince and the stiletto shoe.  Hope all of you froggies will understand.

I am totally drained.

Your Happy Contessa

“Kindness is really important for me in finding my own prince – so are patience and a sense of humor.  Without those qualities, he’s no Prince Charming.”  Anne Hathaway, American actress.  12 November, 1982 -.

Tired of looking at myself…

My ever refreshing salad...
My ever refreshing salad…

Note:  This is not the original picture of the posting.  By mistake I deleted the other one.  This one will have to do.  Sorry

Got very tired of looking at myself every time I turned on my computers, old and new. Yes, I have a new computer that is making my hair grow grayer by the second.  Need to buy two bottles of hair color instead of one.  More on this much later on.  Feel very tempted sometimes to just evaporate so I don’t have to deal with my new “the beast” computer.

Needed a new picture to change scenery, so while I was cleaning my pictures file I came across this so-tempting-salad that looks almost exactly to the one that I have every day.  Instead of cantaloupe, right now I am using pears and apples.  Taste is ever delicious.  I am such a creature of habit.  The above picture was my lunch  August 11, 2011.

Quinoa and black beans, and oh, yes, plantain and olive oil (lots of it) for breakfast.  Dinner is quinoa and black beans to which I add, sometimes, wild Alaskan salmon with tomato paste and onions and olives.  Yum yum.  Of course, a little of XVOO.

As you can tell, the muses are still in the Florida Keys, and I am just mumbling words to fill space.  This is so bad, that even myself, I find it hard to tolerate this posting.  But life is short.  Take it as it comes.  I am taking it with all the good, bad and not so bad stuff that comes with it.

Well…168 words as of now.  Good enough.  Hopefully this will motivate me to search for a new team of muses.  Anyone has any idea where I can find a supply of willing, with a good sense of humor and good attitude-muses at a good price?  By being cheap, I do not mean to get mediocre quality in return.  Get it?

At 278 words, I must now continue cleaning my pictures file…so I must wave the goodbye flag until next time.  I do appreciate all of you putting up with me and my sense of confusion at this moment.

Happy Contessa

“The feeling of my smallness and my nothingness always kept me good company.”  Pope John XXIII, head of the Catholic Church from 1958 to 1963.  25 November 1881-3 June 1963.