Ashram ready…or maybe not…

I have to admit, before I start blabbing away, I don’t think there is another soul like me.  I really have an incredible imagination.

So, ok, something is happening during my meditation time in the mornings, before I have my breakfast.  Just after having water and coffee.  Maybe it is the coffee.  Too espresso like.

This morning my mind took off to India, the region south of Chennai, in Tamil Nadu.  Supposedly I am staying there for a week of mind cleansing and also the body, mind you and me.  Need lots and lots of cleansing.  Need to totally change my life around, but have no idea where the heck I should be heading.  So…after getting up at 5 am, half asleep yet, I head to the room where the meditation takes place.

There, very quietly, because I know how awkward I can be, I find a place to position myself in the Padmasana pose (Lotus pose).  As soon as my derriere hits the cold surface, I know this is going to be one unforgettable experience.  I have no derriere and my little bones are alerting me that they will not put up with this hard surface.  Never mind, I tell my monkey mind.  Then, as it is the case, most of the time in my life…a big humongous fly comes flying at supersonic speed around my nose.  What the…!  Not even in India I can have a moment of tranquility!  Needless to say, profanity is not allowed in meditation or anywhere close on these grounds.

Silence again… the superfly just disappeared from my life.  I can breathe better and concentrate in my mantra.  Which one again?  So hum it is.

Out of my left field, there comes not only the superfly (remember that movie?)…but her whole entourage.  They are only surrounding me with an infernal buzz.  What can I do?  I bathed, I am clean, so why the convention of flies around me?  Losing my pose, my calm and my good intentions of being a little bit holy, I start smacking back and forth around me, when then I noticed that insects probably are to be appreciated and allowed to do as they may, by the looks of the others towards me.

Or maybe it is that I don’t have any makeup at that time of the day and I look like the mother of all superflies?  That thought just hit me.  No mirrors around to double-check how I really look with nothing on my face to cover up the bride of Frankenstein look when I first look at myself on the mirror, mirror on the wall…which by the way, I have trained my mirror to tell me I am the most beautiful of them all.  It is that or seven years of bad luck.

Well, that did it for me! This meditation session is just a supersonic nightmare.  I am going back to Central Florida to my Queen Anne chair to meditate as I please.  Must admit, for the past few days, I have definitely not been successful.  Is it Mercury too close to Earth or just that I must change breakfast choices?

Life is very long when even your meditation time turns out into a gargantuan fiasco moment.

Namaste!