The Nerve of that “Other” Woman…

DSCN0280Someone told me recently that after you hit 80’s, all is downhill from there on.  But I have my own hypothesis…”After I hit my 60’s, my whole world is always colliding with the parallel world that is in my mind.”  Let me prove this…

I was in a store looking for warmer clothing to prepare for my trip to the tundra country of North Carolina.  I passed by a mirror and suddenly this “other older, much older” woman is looking at me, with the same outfit I am wearing, same cute shoes and same hair style.  I move, she moves…it took me a few nanoseconds to realize that was….ME!  OMG!  What happened to the young-looking chick that left my house with me?  Was it the light in the store, an apparition, the other evil she that pretends to be me, or was it really me?  I left that store at the speed of a space shuttle, by the way…I thought those things retired…is the universe trying to tell me something?  I was so confused that my left part of the brain could not at all communicate with the right side, which is the one that tells me all the time that I am a super good-looking chick, well…besides some other little older fellows, but this is not the time to go into that right now.

I am trying to figure out what happened at that store…I felt like a French pile of you know what, felt also like a woman probably doomed for life.

I came home after buying some bread, which is my special treat when I am depressed, went immediately to the mirror that had told me that I looked super good before I left the condo, and saw another woman yet.  What’s going on here?  Then, my left side of the brain said to me…”it’s all about the lighting,  dummy”!  So, now I am very concerned, there is one of me with good lighting and another one of me with mediocre lighting.

This is becoming too hard to look good and young and then… the real me.  The real me is winning, because that picture that I took when I came back home, is not really the way the real me looks like.  It is all about the lighting!

I am so glad this is off my chest…I couldn’t take the pressure any longer.  Next step, let my gray hair show, maybe in 2040.  That’s the first step.

DSCN0281This is my tomato-avocado-carrot with lots of extra virgin olive oil and sea salt sandwich.  Had two of them…frankly, I should have purchased that tempting piece of cake.  I feel full, but…let me put it this way…it is like when you make love, but there is no fire works after the fact.  Tough business.  Hopefully no child is reading this post.  Hopefully also I did not offend anyone also.  People are so sensitive these days…

Another day in paradise while confronting my own aging beast.


Car Wash Nightmare…

DSCN0253This is what happens to me every time I go through the car wash.  To start with, I am a control freak, so putting the car in Neutral and letting go off the wheel is a real matter of trust moment.  I think that all hell is going to break loose.

Now, once the process has started, I am in a panic mode.  I imagine that some steel beam is going to make a hole through the windshield, all that soap and water and the heavy pieces of material that wash the car, are going to come through and leave me faceless.  This is really a moment of total surrender.  Today was no different.  I closed my eyes, which makes it worse because my imagination, and I have one that will break all the charts of taking off, starts working in overdrive.  Air conditioner is off, music is off, so it is only me, the sound of monsters getting ready to get into action, perspiration going everywhere, and car totally out of my control and I am at the mercy of someone’s computer machine.

But today, two days older than the six decades plus I just had, I developed the guts and became fearless and thought, what the heck, faceless or not, I am going to take a picture to illustrate to my worldwide audience that I am a woman with no fears whatsoever!  It only lasted a few seconds, because then I thought, yeah, that will be something for the blog, “Faceless woman found in flooded car with lots of soap trying to take a picture.”  See, I told you, I am really endowed or gifted in the imagination department.  Thank you God, but show me how to control it too.

Have sparkling looking car, ready for the daughter’s approval.  I am so excited to show her a very clean car and a mom with a face still in place.

Having my birthday cake, still, and eating it too!


Ashram ready…or maybe not…


I have to admit, before I start blabbing away, I don’t think there is another soul like me.  I really have an incredible imagination.

So, ok, something is happening during my meditation time in the mornings, before I have my breakfast.  Just after having water and coffee.  Maybe it is the coffee.  Too espresso like.

This morning my mind took off to India, the region south of Chennai, in Tamil Nadu.  Supposedly I am staying there for a week of mind cleansing and also the body, mind you and me.  Need lots and lots of cleansing.  Need to totally change my life around, but have no idea where the heck I should be heading.  So…after getting up at 5 am, half asleep yet, I head to the room where the meditation takes place.

There, very quietly, because I know how awkward I can be, I find a place to position myself in the Padmasana pose (Lotus pose).  As soon as my derriere hits the cold surface, I know this is going to be one unforgettable experience.  I have no derriere and my little bones are alerting me that they will not put up with this hard surface.  Never mind, I tell my monkey mind.  Then, as it is the case, most of the time in my life…a big humongous fly comes flying at supersonic speed around my nose.  What the…!  Not even in India I can have a moment of tranquility!  Needless to say, profanity is not allowed in meditation or anywhere close on these grounds.

Silence again… the superfly just disappeared from my life.  I can breathe better and concentrate in my mantra.  Which one again?  So hum it is.

Out of my left field, there comes not only the superfly (remember that movie?)…but her whole entourage.  They are only surrounding me with an infernal buzz.  What can I do?  I bathed, I am clean, so why the convention of flies around me?  Losing my pose, my calm and my good intentions of being a little bit holy, I start smacking back and forth around me, when then I noticed that insects probably are to be appreciated and allowed to do as they may, by the looks of the others towards me.

Or maybe it is that I don’t have any makeup at that time of the day and I look like the mother of all superflies?  That thought just hit me.  No mirrors around to double-check how I really look with nothing on my face to cover up the bride of Frankenstein look when I first look at myself on the mirror, mirror on the wall…which by the way, I have trained my mirror to tell me I am the most beautiful of them all.  It is that or seven years of bad luck.

Well, that did it for me! This meditation session is just a supersonic nightmare.  I am going back to Central Florida to my Queen Anne chair to meditate as I please.  Must admit, for the past few days, I have definitely not been successful.  Is it Mercury too close to Earth or just that I must change breakfast choices?

Life is very long when even your meditation time turns out into a gargantuan fiasco moment.



My experience while hiking the Himalayas…


There you have it!  I had this incredible experience while hiking the Himalayas in the cutest, very trendy and fashionable outerwear outfit.  Cute with kind of all colors, colors such as the ones you see while you are hiking Machu Pichu.  Those vivid and so bright colors of the Native Peruvians.  Lots of polka dots in my stockings.  Love polka dots.  But I was not at Machu Pichu, I was at the Himalayas.  Boots, hat, scarf, my Ray Ban sunglasses and full of energy, gusto and ready to conquer one of the top places in the whole wide world.  Mount Everest!

So I am with all these people from all over the planet, all of them very nice, amiable, kind, like the ones from the era, “Peace, Love,” if you know what I mean.  If you don’t know what I mean, well…that’s tough, because I don’t have the space and the time to go deep into it.  Use your very smart imagination.

Back to my hiking…there I am pulling myself up with a rope that I don’t have the foggiest idea who’s holding, maybe someone already at the top.  I made sure I had cute undies, in case the people below me were looking up.  I didn’t want to offend anyone with my all white gramma’s underwear.  Oopsie, getting too personal.

There I am…good hair day, the fresh air from that altitude, maybe 25,000 feet up, feels marvelous.  I am handling that rope like I am a total expert doing this.

Suddenly, and very suddenly…a mountain goat shows up from nowhere, the one with the arched horns, and his face is not at all friendly.  He is on top of a space in the mountain that I must conquer if I want to make it to the summit.  To the summit it is at all cost.  But, the mountain goat is facing me down like saying, what the heck do you think you are doing here with the cutest outfit ever to have graced this mountain.  He stared at me and started to bite on my rope…that’s when the situation went very sour…I thought, two things are going to happen here, one, I am going to make it to the summit, or there’s going to be a death splattered on the ground mountain goat.

My meditation time was up, so I must continue my hike tomorrow, or maybe leave the story hanging loose just as it is.  Don’t worry, the mountain goat survives, and I reach the summit with half of my undies shredded by the goat.  It was a sight to behold, me on that rope going as fast as I could, and the goat chewing as fast as he could.  We compromised halfway through and…pop, my oatmeal was ready.

It is so much fun being a writer.  I just write stuff.  That’s exactly it, just stuff.  Tomorrow I may decide to go to Atlantis the lost continent, or…


New Season…New Attitude…New Mindset?

DSCN0099Décor comes, décor goes…Autumn has officially arrived at my tiny kingdom.  I can really feel the spirit of Thanksgiving just around the corner.  Life is so very good and I am so very thankful for still hanging around in this precious universe I call my place.

It is wonderful how a change here and a change there, also in the color of the flowers and tiny details I place around, that can make such a difference in my mindset.  I am so looking forward to my daughter coming to visit, and then I will be going back to North Carolina to visit my family for Thanksgiving.  So very excited!

All this excitement takes place in my mind.  I wish I could be in this happy mindset all the time…but then…there’s always a but…

I think I will be exhausted from so much happiness and excitement.  Life is just like that…too much of anything, even if it is a really good thing, can make you start to take it for granted and then one day, it goes unacknowledged.  So is life.

In the meantime, I am like Snoopy, the go happy doggie from the Peanuts.  I just flip my flip-flops every morning and like Dorothy, there I go into the streets of Central Florida and see and watch what new stuff comes into my life.  Sometimes have to be careful…some things come and want to grow roots in my heart, and then, that’s not such a good thing.

All and all, these things keep me busy, happy and challenged.

Think… what’s your favorite part of this season…


When we pretend we don’t “see,” or the best ever $6.59 spent in my entire life…


“Lila” is her name.  I saw her (I thought it was a guy by the way she is always dressed) for the first time almost two years ago.  She was looking into a dumpster at a botanical garden where I occasionally go for my walks.  She spent a good amount of time looking through garbage.  I did not give it a second thought.  I thought it was a homeless person with one of those shopping carts next to her.

As time went by, I used to see her and would wave at her or say good morning.  She just looked at me.  Even though she intrigued me, I just went about my life as most of us do.

Back to the future.  During the last blossoming of the night cacti at the botanical garden, she went around the neighborhood to alert us as to the blossoming in her bike.  The next day, I went to take some pictures of the cacti to illustrated the day-after look of the plant.  That’s when I saw her close up.  She was conversing with the maintenance guys, so I joined in the conversation.  The closer I got to her, I noticed her beautiful blue eyes.  Also noticed the same clothes she has been wearing for the past years.  That was not important, but it is one of those things you just notice.  I asked her if she wanted to be in a picture next to the cacti, because she was part of the event, but she declined.

Yesterday, Saturday, I had to take a detour due to some sprinklers blocking the usual route of my walk, so I decided to go to the botanical garden.  There she was surrounded by her cats.  I forgot, she feeds lots of cats and they look clean and very well fed.  I approached her to greet her and she got close to me.  Her body odor was making me sick, so silently I asked God to just do something for me to focus on her and not the putrid odor surrounding her.  A breeze showed up out of nowhere.  Thank you Jesus!

We talked for a while, and I found out she owns a house that has been condemned by the city, so she has been sleeping outside for months now.  This started during the winter and is going on right now.  Among the many things I noticed while she was talking, was her soft voice, her beautiful blue eyes and gorgeous hair.  You know me, it’s all about the hair.  Hey, I am just human!

Recap her situation…She moved with her parents to the area over 40 years ago from Miami, her parents died, so I imagine something must have triggered her actual situation, because obviously, no one decides one day to become a hoarder and mentally flip the switch, so one of my next mission is to ask her how all of this happened.  She is very willing to have a conversation, because just like me, she must feel very lonely sometimes.  We humans are so much alike.  The outer crust is just that, the outer crust.

After telling her I was going to find out if there’s any social services agency in the city or county to help her with some of the issues she is facing right now, I bid farewell and left.

Came home ready to fix my breakfast, and then the lightbulb went on.  I thought, “Noury, how can you think about breakfast, when there is a woman out there that only God knows what is she eating for breakfast.”  McDonalds to the rescue!  Got in my car, got a complete breakfast with coffee to go.  I was so excited and feeling so happy.  It is true what they say, it feels better to give than to receive.  The best $6.59 ever spent in my life!

Went back to the park, but no Lila.  Thanks God I remembered where she mentioned her house was.  Drove to her house, and yes, the house is condemned.  She was outside with her cats, so I gave her the bag with all the goodies and told her that coffee already had sugar and cream.  She looked at me and in her soft voice asked me…”do you like coffee?”  In a second I realized that she was being gentle enough not to reject the coffee, but hinting in a very nice way she did not drink coffee.  I asked her what she likes to drink, and she said tea and water.  She said to me that I didn’t have to do this, but that she appreciated it.  I responded that I knew that, but I wanted to do it.  After a few more words, I left with the coffee.  The Lord works in mysterious ways, that cup of coffee was the most delicious cup of coffee I have had in a while and was my only breakfast that morning.

I feel amazingly grateful to have been given this opportunity to do something meaningful for this woman and to remind myself of the important things in life.  We are here to rise beyond pettiness and to really look around and notice what may make us feel uncomfortable sometimes, but it is no other than real life, and an opportunity to show up.

I don’t know what all of this is going to translate to, but I am going to take it one step at a time.  Next week, City Hall and follow the energy and flow of things.

Why am I sharing this?  I don’t need any approval or anything to that effect, just wanted to share that there was a situation right on my face, and I was in such denial for such a long time.  Hopefully I will be more conscious, aware and sensitive to those around me when the opportunity arises again.  Life is a constant course in “Human Improvement.”

I know some of you are thinking that this woman is probably a millionaire and she doesn’t need my help.  Someone already made that observation.  And yes, probably she is a millionaire because her property is sitting within the limits of a city known for wealth and chic.  But, that is so irrelevant to me.  Mentally she is not doing well…and that’s all that matters to me.  Money is just that…money.

Thanks for reading…


My pick-me-up-machine and precious moments of pondering about…

DSCN0047This is my most faithful morning companion.  I was having healthy-good-for-you-tea, but on my latest visit to my mother, I got hooked on coffee again.  This is like the one sinful pleasure that I must have after my walk and a glass of water.  I taste every drop that goes into my mouth.

I also use these moments to ponder about the day, my particular personal philosophies, about noticing the new wrinkle on my face or elsewhere (yeah, they show up in places you will never imagine).  Enough of that.

Sometimes when I am almost finished with my espresso sinful potion, my heart wants to skip a beat here and there, but I think…what the heck, from something I have to die, so what better moment than this one.  I am sure my sweet heart (yes, it is a very sweet and lovely heart I have), enjoys this joyful ritual every morning.  Did I say I put a tiny amount of the other deadly sin, sugar.  White, yes, I like to live dangerously and push the envelope to the max.  What else is life for?

Rest of the ritual is really so so; oatmeal with an apple in it and whole milk.  Yep, living on the edge.  Absolutely, more white sugar.

Now you know a side of me that you were trying very hard to figure out.  My secrets and me.

Have an eventful day!